This I Believe- Revised Draft

What is love? Love is many different things, happiness, friendship, fear, luck, feeling emotions and much more. Love makes your heart grow stronger, but I believe it makes your heart grow bigger. For me love is all the above but mostly fear. I remember the day I feared for the life of my father like it was happening all over again. I will never forget that day; it was a Friday March 14, 2008. I was at a softball tournament and had not spoken to anyone in my family the entire day, but I never for one second thought it was because my dad had a stroke that very morning.
I got home around three o’clock in the afternoon and my mom and brother were waiting for me so we could go see my dad in the hospital. As we were driving there I was scared, of what I don’t know. Maybe I was scared that the night before could’ve been the last time I ever saw my father, scared that I never had the relationship that I always wish I had had with him, or scared that he might have another stroke. I should’ve been happy that he was still alive and my mom kept telling me that he was in good spirits, but I wasn’t going to believe her until I saw him for myself.
As we arrived at the hospital I remembered walking up to the entrance of the automatic sliding glass doors and feeling the cool air from the inside send chills down my spine. It wasn’t the feeling you get when you walk outside on a beautiful day in the fall that brightens your day, but a depressed sad feeling. When I walked in, I was cold which made me miserable, and the lights were dim which made me depressed. Then, we finally got up to the fifth floor which was recovery, and as I walked into his room I saw him on his blackberry back at work. He looked up, smiled, and cracked a joke which made us all feel better. We all sat around his bed and talked to him for twenty minutes. Those twenty minutes were the last time our lives would ever be the same. The last twenty minutes that we would that we would not fear for the life of our father, husband, son, brother, and uncle. The stroke he had earlier in the day became increasingly larger. He was quickly rushed down to ICU where he would fight to make it through the night.
The fear of living in the dark is what scared me the most. The doctors and nurses would not tell us anything. At the time we were unaware that he had another stroke, we did not know how large the bleed in his brain was, and we were not sure if the bleed would ever stop. I feared hearing the words “he didn’t make it” they would have been too sudden; I was not ready to let go of my father. I sat in the waiting room thinking of all the good times I had with him. Then I realized I didn’t want to think about what we had but what was to come in the future. But I just became more fearful, I thought of many things, such as, what if he is not here when I graduate high school or college, he may not be around to walk me down the aisle when I get married or to meet his first grandchild. He may not be around to help coach my brother through football season, or to spend retirement traveling the world with my mom.
When you become fearful you never remember the bad times, but only the good times you shared with that person. You realize that although you’ve had your differences you still love them and you always will. My dad is now healthy and I am so happy that I get to spend more time with him and cherish every moment of it. I will still fear for his life every second of every day because I love him.